


The Correlation of Sanity and Statistics

by desreelee123



Category: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV)
Genre: #bunchofplimptons, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Light Angst, Post-Canon, post-season 2 finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 16:06:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9769664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desreelee123/pseuds/desreelee123
Summary: This story begins with Nathaniel scanning his Tripadvisor on a particularly boring night in his empty apartment.





	

1  


“Look, I myself don’t know why I’m doing this,” Nathaniel huffs in that usual exasperated tone he uses at Rebecca and her colleagues. “Do you wanna come or not?”

Rebecca stares at him in silent shock. A few days ago she just got jilted at the altar by the love of her life because he wanted to become a priest, of all things, for Heaven’s sake. That, in itself, is not only depressing in more ways than one but is also quite embarrassing on more levels than Rebecca would like to acknowledge. Honestly, is she that bad?

“I don’t have all day,” he says, eyeing his smart watch because yes, Nathaniel is the kind of person who wears a smart watch instead of a traditional analogue piece like most men of his stature and persona, a facet that Rebecca didn’t pay attention to until that fateful night inside the broken lift. Surely she read that whole scenario wrong?

She gulps down the lump in her throat because this is a big deal. Running away with her boss just shortly after her aborted wedding? And on such short notice?

But if anything, Rebecca needs this. Desperately. Boss or no boss, accidental kiss or no accidental kiss, she needs a break. A new perspective so to speak. And what better way to do that than to go on a vacation with her boss?

Yeah, it sounds totally sane.

“Give me a few minutes to get my stuff from upstairs,” she says then turns around but not before seeing the contented little look on Nathaniel’s face.

2

This story begins with Nathaniel scanning his Tripadvisor on a particularly boring night in his empty apartment. He had just gotten back from Rebecca Bunch’s aborted nuptials and _Damn,_ he thinks, _that woman certainly has enough baggage to last a normal person a lifetime._

But don’t they all?

The strangest part of it all though, according to Nathaniel’s slightly warped view of things, is that he understands her and on some rarely acknowledged, nigh-unidentifiable level, he can even sympathize with her because his life has had far too many disappointments as well.

And even from that first time that he met her in that conference room at Whitefeather and Associates, subconsciously, he had noted that there was a kindred spirit in her. He just didn’t know if it was going to be a good thing or a bad thing.

Not to mention that she was, and still is, by far the most competent person in the firm.

Anyway, it begins with Nathaniel scanning his Tripadvisor app on his phone.

But who’s to say it really started there at all?

3

The Japanese countryside is a beautiful, serene locale.

Not to mention that the difference between West Covina, in itself already considered as quite a peaceful place compared to what she was used to before, and Odawara is stark, Rebecca notes with a hint of surprise as she and Nathaniel slide out of the taxicab that has dropped them off at their destination, the Hilton.

The long-haul flight from LAX to Narita then the subsequent train ride from the airport to the countryside has exhausted them both thoroughly, even though they both flew First Class. (The Plimpton family jet was unavailable. Nathaniel didn’t really tell her the reason why.)

And from what Rebecca has read, Odawara was a resort town known for its hot springs and relaxing spas and boy, does she need one of those. The vindictive, angry part of her that had wanted to push Josh Chan into a pit full of snakes or make his life inside priesthood a living hell no matter what it took had already died down somewhat even though there were times inside the plane where Rebecca considered getting a turnaround flight back to West Covina to commence her quest for vengeance once they had landed in Narita. She’s angry. She feels betrayed. It’s just natural. But most of the time, something or someone would jolt her out of such musings and she would start to feel just how tired she is again and how tiring her life in general is.

So yes, she needs this. Revenge can wait until later.

4

They bunk in the same room, which is decorated in a Japanese minimalist kind of way with all its wooden flooring and natural lighting. When Rebecca had questioned the nature of their living arrangements, Nathaniel simply provided a veritable excuse: _There were no more rooms available unless you want to trudge up in the middle of the cold at night in order to get to your room because this is the last Tatami room left and the rest are already cottages._

A claim which the receptionist had wilfully confirmed in heavily-accented English because yes, it is true that there were no more rooms left in the main hotel complex.

After that, Rebecca merely looked at him with a vague kind of suspicion before turning back to the receptionist to retrieve the keys to their room. Once they’re both safely in their hotel room with all their bags with them, both of them plop down simultaneously on the beds, with Rebecca taking dibs on the one nearest them and Nathaniel, being a gentleman at heart, taking the other bed. The view that their room lends of the ocean as well as the cities on either side of their peripheries is breathtaking but as of now, there is nothing on their minds but the concept of sleep. Jet lag can take quite a toll.

Distantly, he wonders what his dad might think of this sudden vacation from work but before the heavy feeling of dread can overwhelm him, he slips into a fitful slumber.

5

They wake up at around 7 in the evening, more recharged than they had been about eight hours ago.

And hungrier too.

Effectively, they had skipped lunch already and that will not do. Rebecca does not plan on dying from hunger on an escapade to a resort town on the other side of the world, for God’s sake. So she does the most logical thing she can do, she drags Nathaniel down to the nearest working restaurant in the vicinity, which is the lobby bar.

“God, the stuff here are so overpriced,” he muses, his tone conveying a slight note of vexation and Rebecca certainly thinks that it’s weird that he would actually observe the price of the dishes as he peruses the menu.

He just didn’t strike her as that kind of person.

“Well, sucks for you Perfect Plimpton because I’m hungry and I can’t wait to devour a cheeseburger right now, overpriced or otherwise.”

And he laughs; a response which obviously startled them both but if they were to spend a whole two weeks together without ripping one another to shreds, might as well get used to this. After all, Rebecca certainly doesn’t entertain the notion that she has a monopoly on laughter.

Wait, does she?

6

That night, they explore the premises.

It’s quite enjoyable actually because the whole hotel is like this mini-mansion with lots of rooms and amenities like libraries and such. Ten minutes into the mock-exploration, they have both successfully gotten themselves into an argument on the merits of having a house plant, of all things.

“Rebecca, if you must know; plants are still living things that require taking care of and I simply do not have the time for that. And plus, living things are too much work.”

“Ugh, could you be any more cynical about the notion of plant-keeping for Heaven’s sake? It’s just a plant and even though they are living things, they seriously require less work. And, not to mention, you only need to water them like, maybe, one or two times a day?”

“But then, you’d have to put fertilizer on them and routinely check their leaves and stems for any abnormalities because plants have no way of conveying that they’re sick,” he fires back. “Besides, isn’t the purpose of having a living thing inside your home, aside from yourself of course, is to have a companion? Plants aren’t even that comforting.”

“Well, they can be if you want them to.”

Nathaniel rolls his eyes as if he’s speaking to a child.

“Have you heard of anyone hugging a plant?”

“You don’t need a living thing to move or bark or meow or do most things that pet living things that humans usually use as companions to feel comfort from it.”

For a moment, he merely looks at her like she’s some kind of puzzle he can’t fathom but then another moment passes and he’s back to his original, egotistical self, albeit in more casual clothing. (Rebecca secretly thinks that casual suits him better.)

“Whatever,” he says to her but his tone has changed from argumentative into something friendlier.

7

Nathaniel is the first one to wake up on their first official day in Odawara. The sunlight is streaming in through the windows and the day is quite beautiful. He blinks at the light and glances at the clock.

It’s ten in the morning.

He turns his head over to look at Rebecca, who is still fast asleep a small distance away from him. She’s drooling onto her pillow and her eyes are still firmly shut with the duvet curled around her.

A thought laced with heat almost crosses his mind but Nathaniel, being Nathaniel, steadfastly stomps it out. There is no use in dwelling in what she would not give him.

Except, that was then and back then, she was getting married to someone.

And now, she’s not.

Nathaniel shakes his head and wills away the thoughts.

But there is no doubt that he will revisit them again in the not-so-distant future.

Right after he has finished shoving those Rebecca-related musings to the back of his mind, he comes to a realization about something.

His father.

The old man must be furious now, with his son not being in West Covina running the ship and all. But of course, Nathaniel himself has no way of knowing because he left his work phone at home and his other phone, which he brought with him only for the sake of emergencies, is perpetually in airplane mode.

And that, in a nutshell, is the power of ignorance.

It is quite blissful so to speak…while it lasts.

8

At about 2 am the next day, Rebecca is awoken by the persistent vibrating of her phone.

She grabs the blasted contraption and glances at the caller ID with bleary eyes.

It’s Paula, no doubt calling from the office in West Covina to check her whereabouts.

Rebecca thinks about putting the phone down and going back to sleep but eventually, her best friend-instincts override everything and she answers the call with a throaty, “Hello?”

“Rebecca, where are you? I called your roommate Heather and she said that she didn’t know where you were either.” she says in an urgent tone. “And does it have anything to do with Nathaniel, who I know for a fact never misses a day of work, not being here too?”

There is an underlying hint of a motherly threat interlaced with her voice that makes Rebecca glance at the prone figure buried beneath the covers just a foot away from her.

“Uh, no it doesn’t,” she answers softly, suddenly wide awake because damn, how the hell is she going to explain to her best friend that she has suddenly decided to run off with her boss to a resort town in Japan?

Rebecca throws off the duvet and tiptoes to the door. Nathaniel stirs and mumbles something under his breath as she passes him but otherwise does not show any other signs of waking up. She lets herself out and closes the door behind her gently.

“Rebecca, that doesn’t sound very convincing,” Paula says in a very matter-of-fact tone.

_God, what a time for this to come up._

“Listen, it’s no big deal Paula,” she reasons. “I just decided to use up the remainder of my vacation days.”

“Without telling me?” her best friend sounds offended on the other end of the line.

“Sorry Paula, it all happened really quickly and before I knew it, I was booking the flight and the hotel.”

Rebecca hears her best friend sigh audibly.

“Look, I really just…need some time alone okay?” she explains. It’s not totally a lie. Her aborted marriage to Josh as well as the weight of all that has and had happened to her has really put her in quite a spin recently.

Paula lets out a breath.

“Okay cookie, just…take care of yourself,” Rebecca bites her lip at that. “And remember, I’m just one phone call away.”

“Thanks Paula.”

Rebecca doesn’t get much sleep after that.

9

They go into town the morning of the second day, mostly to explore the shops and parts of town that they haven’t been able to visit on their first official day in the resort town. Rebecca snaps a few photos of the quaint little town and buys a few dried delicacies just for the heck of it while Nathaniel just mostly glances around; taking in everything he could see.

He’s wearing a knitted grey sweater and dark jeans, much simpler and less stuffy than what he usually wears back at home. The town feels quite peaceful and at ease and it’s a change that he didn’t think he had needed before.

They settle into a restaurant down the street from the row of markets for lunch, with Rebecca ordering a set comprising of rice and fish and miso while Nathaniel gets some kind of local salad with sesame dressing.

“You don’t really eat much do you?” Rebecca remarks with a strange expression on her face once their food is laid down in front of them.

“I just don’t like it when I pack a few extra ounces,” he says defensively. He doesn’t like it when people make observations about his eating habits.

“Well, to me it doesn’t seem like you are packing a few extra ounces,” she says, a light, playful smirk adorning her features.

This conversation is throwing him off a bit.

“Well, I just don’t like the idea of it happening. What do you want to do later?” he changes the subject, which just makes her eye him curiously.

“Seriously, I don’t think you’re even fat I mean—

“Could you just leave it?” he snaps suddenly, which makes Rebecca jump a little bit in her seat.

“Whoa,” she holds up her hands. “Easy.”

He eyes her viciously for a moment then looks down at his salad. He suddenly doesn’t feel like eating anymore.

An awkward silence engulfs them both for a few beats before Rebecca finally clears her throat and says, “I wanna bathe in the hot springs.”

“What?”

“I said,” she reiterates, “I wanna try the hot springs this town is so known for. Heard our hotel has one.”

“Well why not?”

She looks at him one last time then goes back to her food. The trip back to the hotel passes in total quiet.

10

The natural hot springs, or onsen as they call it here, are relaxing and revitalizing…once Nathaniel gets past the concept of going in naked with all the other men.

He almost runs away at first sight when he sees all those other men bathing in the pools in all their naked glory.

 _It’s disconcerting,_ he thinks, _how a culture so docile and polite could have no qualms about bathing naked with each other._

At first, he is a little self-conscious about the appearance of his body and has to resist the urge to cover his nether regions with his hands like a teenager caught skinny-dipping but the moment he dipped into the hot pool, he felt all his thoughts melt away into the clear water and closed his eyes, content to relish in the natural heat.

From time to time, he glances at his watch to check the time because bathing in the hot springs for more than five minutes is not allowed and can be quite dangerous. But mostly, he allows his mind to wander into the more whimsical aspects of his imagination, mostly involving stills and scenes from the Harry Potter movies or replaying the victories he has had as a lawyer, including his first trial.

He remembers the aftermath of that trial in great detail, how his dad had given him a small pat on the back as a sign of appreciation before he went off to meet one of his other clients. His father didn’t look at him though when he gave the small gesture of appreciation but Nathaniel chooses to ignore that part and to focus instead on the fact that his father, his cold and oft-distant father, had expressed approval, no matter how minuscule, to him.

It was one of the rare times where Nathaniel felt genuine affection from his father.

Nathaniel got out of the clear water and washed off in the showers before making his way back to the locker room to get dressed and get back to his room.

There is a strong feeling of weightlessness as he makes his way back, a feeling of relaxation settling over his skin like a blanket. Once he gets into his hotel room he immediately makes his way to his bed and plops down on it unceremoniously, not caring that he only happens to be clad in a cotton bathrobe and that Rebecca is also sitting on her bed just a foot away from him.

“Feel better Perfect Plimpton?” she teases with that endearing smile of hers as she sets down the book she is reading and looks at him. She too is only clad in a bathrobe.

“Quite.”

Sleep comes quite easily for both of them that night.

11

They spend the next few days in the same routine. In the morning, they go out to town to walk around and grab lunch then at night, they relax at the hot springs.

Not once does Rebecca even think of Josh in those few days but she is sure that once she gets back to West Covina, she would be as hellbent on revenge as before. Nobody gets away with jilting Rebecca Bunch at the altar unscathed.

On those days, Rebecca and Nathaniel find out little things about each other like how Nathaniel’s favourite author, next to J.K. Rowling of course, is Rick Riordan and that he actually has a penchant for Young Adult novels or how Rebecca likes to reread _The Age of Innocence_ and _Nineteen Eighty-Four_ during Valentine’s Day and the Fourth of July respectively.

“Wow, talk about depressing,” he had commented under his breath, probably meaning to playfully insult Rebecca about her literary choices.

“Hey! Says the guy who reads kid novels,” she had fired back.

“Rick Riordan and J.K. Rowling are modern literary heroes you know,” he, in turn, had justified.

“Whatever _Percy Jackson.”_

“Oh that’s just foul.”

12

At around the end of their first week in Odawara, they grab dinner in their hotel’s only restaurant.

The waiters and waitresses mistake them both for a couple, during which they both make it a point to clear up the assumption emphatically, especially Rebecca.

“No, we’re not a couple. We’re just friends. F-R-I-E-N-D-S.”

The waiter had nodded just as emphatically, probably a little spooked by Rebecca’s overenthusiastic correction. The woman can be quite headstrong in the things she wants, a fact that Nathaniel has known since the first time that they had met.

After all, who could forget getting chased by a small, angry, voluptuous woman around with a fountain pen, with said woman with the full intention of stabbing you to death with said pen?

Up until today, the thought still makes Nathaniel shiver a bit inside.

_But then, she had felt quite soft—_

He shakes his head and wills the thought away. There will be time for that later.

But right now, he has to eat dinner.

“I don’t know why they keep thinking we’re a couple,” she mutters, a statement which causes both of them to cast each other an awkward look. Rebecca steadfastly distracts herself with her appetizer, pickled vegetables and a wedge of tomato while Nathaniel starts to observe the dark navy blue shade of the cuff of his button-down like it’s the most interesting thing in the whole world.

Eventually, their food gets served.

And bit by bit, they start to slide into their usual small chatter about this and that.

Nathaniel notices how beautiful Rebecca is in her purple fit-and-flare dress and three-inch pumps but doesn’t say anything about it.

“My mom wanted me to get into Harvard since, like, I was born,” she tells him between mouthfuls of rice and expensive Wagyu beef. “She said that she’d have a heart attack if I didn’t.”

“Well, my father was pretty much the same too. It was Stanford or nothing for me. Both my parents went there when they were younger. My mom was my dad’s college sweetheart.”

“Oh, how sweet,” Rebecca croons because she is a sucker for Hollywood-esque romances and the like.

“Yeah, it was…up until my mom died of cancer when I was eight.”

Rebecca looks at him with something akin to pity in her big brown eyes, which makes Nathaniel want to run away.

“I’m sorry,” she offers.

“Yeah.”

A pregnant pause lapses in the air between them and it befuddles Nathaniel why he had even volunteered that piece of information to her anyway.

After that, it’s back to the usual chitchat.

13

“You know, it’s weird that we never thought to check out the indoor water spa,” Rebecca states one night on the ninth day of their escapade.

Nathaniel eyes her from atop the newspaper he’s perusing.

“Do you want to?”

Rebecca shrugs. “Sure, we’ve got nothing else better to do.”

So that’s how she ends up digging around her suitcase for that one-piece she never wears back at home but strangely thought to pack for their trip here. She slips it on inside the bathroom and drapes a bathrobe over her form while Nathaniel changes in the Japanese-style dining area of their hotel room.

In just about a few minutes, they both emerge from their hotel room and make their way to the heated pools. They get the keys for their lockers from the reception by the respective entrances to the men’s and women’s locker rooms then meet each other poolside with Nathaniel clad in nothing but a pair of board shorts and Rebecca in her black one-piece.

She allows herself just one quick glance over his sculpted form before cheerfully declaring, “Let’s go!”

They dip into the heated pool that has sliding doors that lead into the extension of said pool outside in the cold, open Odawara air.

At first, the cold draft of wind that hits Rebecca straight in the face shocks her systems but eventually, her body settles into the soothing warmth of the heated pool and then she can scarcely even feel the cold against her face anymore.

She and Nathaniel find a corner there where they settle next to each other, bare skins almost touching and suddenly, Rebecca is reminded of that time they got stuck in the elevator.

“Why did you ask me to come with you on this trip?” she pops the question that has been plaguing her mind since they got here. “Why me of all people?”

Nathaniel sighs and his breath diperses into smoke in the cold air.

“Honestly, I don’t really know,” he admits, “I guess…I thought you needed it just as much as I did.”

She chuckles.

“Well, you’re right about that,” she tells him and she can’t stop that sharp edge of bitterness and hate from setting into her voice.

“You know, I don’t mean to sound clichéd but he doesn’t deserve you,” he says matter-of-factly and Rebecca turns around to look at him, shocked. “You’re smart and infuriating and a little bit crazy but he’s just plain-ass stupid...and _plain_.”

She laughs and it’s just on this side of manic. “Yeah, he is.”

“And he totally deserves it if you TP his house or key his car or whatever.”

Rebecca nods and she doesn’t know why but she feels a little dangerous.

“Yep, he does and _more_.”

She doesn’t know if Nathaniel can hear the slight edge of retribution soaking the tip of _more._

“But don’t…don’t waste your energy on someone like that.”

This time, she actually whirls around to face him.

“What?”

“I know that look that was on your face on that cliff that day,” he tells her, blue eyes looking into brown ones, earnest and bare and completely honest. “It’s heartbreak and anger. In your situation, that’s normal…just don’t let it get to you too much. It’s not worth your time.”

 _God,_ she thinks, _this is so weird and so inappropriate on so many levels._

“How would you know?” she challenges because that white-hot fire of revenge hasn’t died down yet and it’s still very much coursing through her veins, albeit just a bit more repressed these past few days.

He wants to say, “Because I know what it’s like to be let down like that,” and it would be the truth.

On rainy nights when the distant ghosts of his past usually come back to haunt him, Roxanne feels just as alive as ever. She was supposed to be his salvation from his domineering father and dreary life. They were supposed to marry each other and live happily ever after. And they did…up to the “marry each other” part.

Up until now Roxanne’s still on the company payroll. He remembers how disappointed and angry and frustrated his father was with him, berating him for how big a fool he was, even threatening to disown him should another instance like that arise again.

But he opts to say instead, “Because I think I’m human and intelligent enough to,” which just makes her roll her eyes at him.

“Yeah, whatever Perfect Plimpton.”

14

They trade in the hot springs for the heated indoor water spa on the next few days. It becomes sort of like a routine. After dinner, they would make it into their little corner in that portion of the heated pool out in the Odawara night air.

They talk about inconsequential stuff mostly but never about work. Eight out of ten of those times they get into an argument about something or other that wasn’t even related to what they were originally talking about.

It’s partly frustrating for Rebecca but mostly, it’s fun. And it’s really nice to have a guy that she can talk to without having to explain certain words that she uses to construct sentences.

“I’m pretty sure that Leonardo DiCaprio’s character was still stuck inside the dream,” he argues, blue eyes widening.”

“Well the spinning of the top doesn’t really falter when they’re in a dream but the top did some kind of a stutter at the ending.”

“Yeah, but we didn’t see it fall down.”

“But it faltered.”

“I’m not discounting that.”

“So you’re agreeing that they got out of the dream?”

“I didn’t say that, what I said was that I’m not discounting your observation that the top did falter a bit in its spin at the ending but I’m still standing by my opinion that they were still in the dream.”

Rebecca _hmphs_ at him in reply which only makes him laugh a bit.

On the last day of their vacation, he asks her what she wants to do before they go.

To which she answers, “The one thing that we didn’t do in our days here. Visit the Odawara Castle.”

“How’d you know there was even a castle?’

“I read it in the in-flight tourist magazine on the way here.”

And they do just that. The trek to the castle leaves Rebecca a bit tired by the time they get there, which Nathaniel uses to tease her with.

“You really are out-of-shape you know that?”

“Shut up,” she says without any real bite to the words. They start to climb up the staircase to the top of the castle which lends a bird’s eye view of the city though by then, Rebecca is already too busy trying to catch her breath to take pictures. Nathaniel leaves her for a bit to walk around. Rebecca just looks out at the city and feels herself drift into a reverie.

“Well, now that we’ve climbed the castle,” Nathaniel says, pulling her out of her daydreams, “why don’t we head out to go grab lunch?”

“That sounds great.”

15

On the flight back to Los Angeles, Nathaniel tells Rebecca in generic “Plimpton tone” as she calls it, “I want you to be at work tomorrow 9 am sharp. You need to power through the heaps of deadlines and paperwork that you probably left behind.”

Rebecca snorts. “Whatever.”

“Hopefully my dad won’t be too mad at me when we get back though,” he muses after a short while.

“Knowing your dad, I think he will be but you’re bringing in results with the firm to be honest so I’m pretty sure that it’ll be just for a week or two, a month tops and that’ll be it.”

He chuckles. “Have you even met him?”

“No, but I have a vague idea about what he's like.”

It’s weird really how similar her mom and his dad are.

“Really?”

“Really.”

A comfortable silence latches itself in the space between them. Overall, it’s been really nice if both of them were to be honest even though they both acknowledge the fact that this trip may just be one of those anomalies that won’t ever be repeated again. (Like that random elevator kiss.)

Though secretly, both of them wish that someday, maybe in the distant future, it could be.

A flight attendant with too much makeup comes to lay their food in front of them.

As Nathaniel starts peeling off the foil lid of his dinner box, he tells Rebecca in his signature “Plimpton tone”, “But seriously, I need you to come in to work tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and finishing this fic. Sorry if the characters are a bit OOC. Comment below for any criticism that you might have I am very open to those. Again, thanks for reading!


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